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Fine Prints: August, 2008
Reminiscing, Trips and Smells--1
August 2
Reminiscing, Trips and Smells Again!
August 9
Why Must Church Giving Be So Old-fashioned?
August 16
Rewriting the Golden Rule
August 23
Mark Your Calendars: Church Retreat Is Coming August
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Reminiscing, Trips and Smells--1
When I was 10 years old, I was invited to go with a friend and his
parents to their family reunion in Arkansas. They thought it would be
easier to entertain two 10-year-olds than one. I don’t know if their
math was correct or not.
Anyway, my friend’s mother had started life in Kansas, dirt-poor.
Seeking a better life during the Depression, her large family had
traveled by covered wagon from Kansas to Arkansas. For quite a few miles
we were able to follow the route they had taken. Along the way she
reminisced about washing clothes in that river, or gathering firewood in
that forest or buying something special in that town. One of her stories
stood out in particular.
Having grown up so poor, and having eaten mainly what the family
could produce in their own garden, she had never in all of her six or
seven years encountered bananas. But in one town the family came to
there were bananas for sale––cheaply. Her father bought enough to feed
an army, and she and her siblings hoed in as if they were an army.
The only problem was, that night she got a terrible stomach
bug––which was probably quite unrelated to her heavy consumption of
bananas. But you’d never convince her of that.
In less than 24 hours she went from being introduced to bananas for
the first time, to absolutely falling in love with bananas, to
desperately hating bananas! The experience was so dramatic and so
indelible that she loathed them forever.
In fact, just passing through the town where the experience took
place sort of turned her stomach. The very thought of bananas––but
especially the smell of bananas––always made her want to throw up. End
of story.
But I have another story about smells.
Back in the early 1980s, when I was an assistant editor of the
Adventist Review, I was invited to speak at the little weekend
campmeeting they held each year on the upper peninsula of Michigan. To
get there, I flew to Chicago and then took a commuter flight that made
several stops in out-of-the-way places in Wisconsin before arriving at
my destination.
Typically, I don’t get airsick. But I was on a little plane, and a
gale had been blowing off of Lake Michigan for a couple of days. So that
little plane danced around the sky like a cork going over Niagara Falls.
Well, it was almost that bad.
But the flight attendant was a hearty soul. Maybe her father was a
postman back in the days when the motto was "The mail must go through."
Anyway, she was bound and determined to see that her passengers got
their soft drink no matter how turbulent the flight.
Just as she reached over me to hand a cup of Coke to my seat mate,
the plane dropped about fifty feet. I looked up to see the Coke hanging
suspended in a compact little ball about four feet above the cup in the
attendant’s hand, and then . . .
I really hate to leave you suspended until next week, but we
are out of space!
Jim Coffin, Senior Pastor
 
Reminiscing, Trips and Smells--Again!
In last week’s Fine Print I told the story of a woman who hated even
the smell of bananas—because in her mind they were associated with a
violent stomach upset she’d experienced as a little girl. I also began
telling about a harrowing commuter-plane flight I once took.
In fact, I left you hanging, so to speak, having described how the
plane dropped about fifty feet just as the flight attendant reached over
me to hand a Coke to my seatmate. Suddenly I saw the Coke, in a compact
ball, hovering about four feet above the now-empty cup in her hand.
For just a moment, the Coke experienced weightlessness—or something
very similar. I hope it enjoyed the sensation. Then gravity reasserted
its authority, and the Coke began a downward trajectory, accelerating at
32.2 feet per second, if I remember the formula correctly from my
high-school physics class.
It didn’t take long for the Coke to travel the four feet between us
and land on my shirt, tie, suit jacket and suit trousers. I discovered
that one cup of well-distributed Coke can stain a lot of cloth!
However, my stained suit—even though it was the only one I had with
me—was the least of my worries right then. Retaining my recently
consumed lunch was uppermost in my mind. I thought I was going to lose
the battle soon. I was the sickest I’ve ever been on a flight.
Fortunately, the plane landed before any further catastrophes. As I
staggered down the stairs to the tarmac, I was suddenly hit by the
overwhelming smell of aviation fuel, which nauseated me all the more.
I went to bed while a dry-cleaning establishment went to work on my
clothes. I made it through my Friday-night presentation. And by the time
of my Sabbath presentations, I felt almost human again. But when I
walked into that little airport on Sunday morning for my trip home, I
was once again assaulted by the smell of aviation fuel.
Instantly a wave of nausea so engulfed me that I feared I’d wasted
all the money I’d spent for breakfast. Like the woman for whom the very
smell of bananas was nauseating, because of what she associated it with,
the smell of aviation fuel had equally bad associations in my mind.
But why am I rambling on about smells?
Because the Apostle Paul says that Christians are like a smell: "For
we are . . . the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and
those who are perishing. To the one we are the smell of death; to the
other, the fragrance of life. And who is equal to such a task?" (2
Corinthians 2:15, 16).
The good news—and the bad news—is that people view Christ and
Christianity on the basis of the impact individual Christians have made
on them. For some, Christianity is associated with the sweet fragrance
of the unconditional love, care and concern exuded from truly committed
lives. Others associate Christianity with a stench, and the mere thought
of anything associated with religion makes them nearly gag.
What kind of "smell" is the name of Jesus associated with because of
you and because of me?
Jim Coffin, Senior Pastor
Why Must Church Giving Be So Old-fashioned?
We live in an age of convenience-made-possible-by-technology. Many
people do their bill-paying online. We order movies with the push of a
few buttons on our TV’s remote control. We send emails far more often
than we send letters. Rarely do I pay cash for anything—even my
groceries. Instead, I use a credit card. It’s so much easier. Plus I
rack up quite a few frequent-flyer miles that way.
Which brings me to a question: Why are we depriving church members of
the frequent-flyer miles they could be earning on all their church
contributions? Why do we make it so hard for them to hand over money,
when it’s so easy in the secular world? Those are really good questions.
But I think we have really good answers, too.
For starters, credit-card use doesn’t come free of charge. And I’m
not referring to the interest on unpaid balances at the end of the month
(though we’d definitely hate for anyone to be paying interest on money
contributed to the church). Rather, I’m talking about the charges of the
middleman or middle-woman.
Someone—the merchant usually—pays for the convenience you derive from
credit-card use. Typically it costs between 2 and 3 percent of the
purchase total. So while you as the consumer get $100 of purchase power
for $100 of credit-card charge, the merchant will typically keep only
$97 or $98 of the $100. The same would apply to a church.
When large sums of money change hands, seemingly small percentages
add up to significant totals. For example, let’s assume that every
member of our congregation gave their Church Budget contributions via
credit-card. Instead of taking in $700,000 in a year, we’d retain
between $679,000 and $686,000.
That loss is essentially what it costs us to run our Youth, Young
Adult and Junior High programs for an entire year. Could we be certain
of sufficient additional contributions to make up the shortfall? And
even if we could, would it be good stewardship?
Most merchants operate on the assumption that they’ll increase their
volume of business because of the convenience of credit-card use. But
would it actually be all that convenient in a church setting?
Suppose we set up, say, five credit-card kiosks in the Foyer at
Markham Woods Church (if we could find space for them). If one quarter
of our weekly attendance of about 500 wanted to make a contribution,
that would be about 25 people per kiosk per Sabbath. Keep in mind, we
don’t have a lot of time between services. So for 25 patrons to use each
of the five kiosks would mean the line could be rather long.
Would we really want the next person in line potentially looking over
our shoulder and seeing just how much we’re giving and to what causes?
And would five or more "ATMs" in our Foyer really project the
image/priorities we want for our church?
We don’t want to be the spiritual equivalent of the Luddites (who
resisted mechanization during the Industrial Revolution). On the other
hand, in every higher-tech alternative for giving that we’ve researched,
the minuses have clearly outweighed the pluses.
Jim Coffin, Senior Pastor
Rewriting the Golden Rule
Years ago—like
thirty-something—Richard Rice, a religion professor at Loma Linda
University, gave a talk that was printed in an LLU publication, and I
happened accross it. In the talk, he took a couple of truisms and turned
them upside-down. What he said made an impression.
His first truism slaughter was: "Never do today what can be putt-off
until tomorrow."
Obviously, some people are going to accuse him of slothfulness. But
his opinion seems to be that only sloths actually need the original
version, which is: "Never putt off until tomorrow what can be done
today."
Certainly, slackers need to push themselves. They need to engage
brawn and brain to get something accomplished. And it's just too easy to
take a lackadaisical attitude and forever procrastinate.
But A-type workaholics need to slow-down. They need to limit what
they try to crowd onto each day's agenda. Thus the mutilation of the
saying.
Rice's second truism slaughter was: "Anything worth doing is worth
doing badly." Wow! I'd been told that "anything worth doing is worth
doing well." Again, he seems to believe, the advice in its
original form is for sloths and slobs.
The reality is, obsessive-compulsive, perfection-addicted people miss
out on a lot of joy because of their determination to do everything
well. Of course, for such people, "well" is synonymous with
"excellently."
But you don't have to play tennis "well" in order to
enjoy it. You don't have to sing "well" in order to have a good time
around the piano. You don't have to. . . The list goes on. It's an idea
worth thinking about.
Anyway, it struck me the other day that there might be other truisms
that, when turned upside-down, offer some worthwhile insights. And one
such is the Golden Rule. You know, the one where Jesus said that we
should treat others the way we would like to be treated.
Now, don't misunderstand me, I'm all for the Golden Rule. In fact,
it's probably the most overlooked bit of wisdom in today's world—despite
the fact that it contains the core of what good human relations are all
about.
Having said that, however, let's rewrite this truism for a moment:
"Always treat others the way they would like to be treated." That
puts things in a somewhat different light, doesn't it?
For example, if I'm an extrovert, and I want to follow the revised
Golden Rule, I probably won't throw a huge birthday party for my
introvert spouse. That might be what I'd like done for me, but that's
not what she's want done for her. To do so would be following the
original Golden Rule. The revised version says to try to give what the
other person wants.
If my wife loves cherry pie, but I love lasagna, the revised Golden
Rule says she should cook lasagna rather than cherry pie—if she really
wants to do something nice for me, that is.
Maybe we could summarize it this way: To truly fulfill the original
Golden Rule means that we'll always keep in mind the thruth of the
revised Golden Rule, as well.
Jim Coffin, Senior Pastor.
Mark Your Calendars: Church Retreat Is Coming!
What: Markham Woods is hosting its 14th annual Church Retreat the
weekend of October 24-26.
Where: At the Youth Camp at Wekiwa Springs Park.
When: Check-in begins at 3:00 pm on Friday. The first official
activity will be supper at 6:30 pm, followed by vespers at 8:00 pm.
(Details of the weekend’s featured speakers will be provided later.)
Children up to Grade 3, Grades 4-6 and Grades 7-12 will have separate
services during each of the three service times. For the adventuresome,
there will be a night hike after vespers on Friday night. Bring your
flashlight.
Sabbath activities will start with breakfast at 8:00 am. From 9:00 to
10:45 am there will be hiking, biking, birdwatching, canoeing and
socializing. The morning church service starts at 11:00. The Young
Adults will have one separate service, at 11:00 am on Sabbath. Lunch
will be served at 12:30 pm. There will be more hiking, biking,
birdwatching, canoeing and socializing from 2:00 to 5:00 pm.
At 5:30 pm we’ll have a closing-Sabbath vesper service. Supper will
be at 6:30 pm. There will be recreation for young and old at 8:00 pm
around the campfire. A family movie will be shown in the
recreation/lecture hall. And there will be table games in the dining
hall.
The retreat concludes with breakfast at 8:30 am on Sunday (followed
by cleanup - so volunteers are needed!).
At Markham Woods Church, services will be conducted as usual at 9:00
and 11:30 on Sabbath morning. Sabbath School will run at the regular
time (10:10 am) but with fewer classes. Attendance will be small because
of the Retreat.
Why: Getting away—to relax, to socialize, to play, to worship—can be
refreshing for a congregation.
Who: All Markham Woods members and attenders are invited. None are
too young or too old.
How: You can book a cabin by phoning the church office
(407-862-7578). We have reserved five campsites in the park’s family
camping area for either a tent or RV. Both cabins and campsites will be
allocated on a first-come-first-served basis. Or you can stay at home
and simply come to whatever retreat meetings, meals and activities you
choose. Meal sign-up sheets will be at the Welcome Center by mid
September, and you must sign up for each meal desired.
Please book your accommodation soon. There is no charge to
participants for accommodation, food, activities or admission to the
park. We would ask that you simply continue supporting the Church Budget
with your generous tax-deductible contributions. You've done wonderfully
in the past, so please keep up the good work.
You must have signed up in advance to attend. No drop-ins will be
admitted to the Youth Camp. Dress casually. And bring a lawn chair if
you can.
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